Subj: The answer is confidence

We need to talk.

I still remember when a colleague at work said, “If you have the confidence, you can pull anything off”. She said it so casually while describing someone else, BUT it stuck with me.

I had soooo MaNy questions,

but most importantly: EVERYTHING?

Yes dear, everything — I later found out.

As a certified overthinker, I came to realize that you judge yourself first, and everyone else builds into that. WhatEVER you believe you are, others will eventually believe that too.

Let me break it down for you:

First what happens inside of you:

Drawing: ME — Concept: Behavioral Science

In behavioural science, if you change one of these four elements (Cognition, emotions, behaviour or physical), you will be able to change/influence the rest. For instance, if you start exercising, you’ll start feeling better, behave more like yourself and will be able to make better decisions (PROVEN).

Confidence plays on the behavioural aspect. If you start behaving like you know what you are doing, where you’re going and are comfortable in your own skin, your mind will start believing that you are confident and capable, and your body will follow, vibrating the steadiness your body feels, and your emotions will translate the trust you have in yourself.

How this will influence other people and allow you to pull off EVERYTHING?

I will need to draw another diagram for this one

totally by ME

People rely on their intuition and are more likely to be biased when translating what their eyes are seeing/hearts are feeling.

If you believe that you can do it, you will start believing that others believe that you can do it, and so other people will start believing that you can do it, reassuring the initial thought that you can do it.

Some argue that it is a type of manipulation, as many politicians and showmen use it to get the trust and support they didn’t earn. BUT in contrast, convincing yourself that you cannot do it, that you are less and that every decision you’ll make is wrong is also a form of manipulation.

by ME

Trust that you will be conscious enough to realize when your confidence blinds you, but remember, not everything that's not white is black; there are 50 shades of grey.

P.S.

For a person who has been around narcissists my whole life, I associated confidence with an exaggerated sense of self. So I lived my life avoiding self-reassurance, checking myself at every turn, making sure I don’t step on someone else’s toes.

The reality is that narcissism, at its core, is insecurity and a feeling of being inferior, so narcissists decide to cover it using an inflated sense of self.

Being confident and being a narcissist are completely different things if not the complete opposite.

Confidence is being comfortable in your own skin without needing to degrade others, narcissism is making sure you are better than everyone around you.

If you are an overthinker, a people pleaser, or have a co-depended personality, please know that:

first, this article is mainly written for you

second, allowing yourself to be confident in your abilities doesn't mean stepping over someone else’s shoes

and lastly, give yourself permission to take space in this world

💙 There’s enough room for all of us 🌤

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All I do is ramble about my life, authentically.

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NIA

NIA

All I do is ramble about my life, authentically.

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